I hate myself today. Oh my god, I just want to crawl in a hole and die.
You know that feeling when you feel really shitty about something, and you need to talk about it, but you don’t know what to say? That’s how I feel today.
- I have barely any friends. The friends I do have live way too far away for me to be able to spend time with.
- I’m almost 20, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. I had a thing with this one guy, but I couldn’t hold his interest. He called me last night to tell me he just wants to be friends, and isn’t really interested in anything more than that. It hurts, because (yes, this is dramatic, I know.. but this is how I feel today) he’s pretty much perfect for me. I can’t even tell myself ‘oh he’s an asshole, I deserve better than that’, because he’s great. And it hurts that he doesn’t want me, because I like him so much.
- I don’t get to see my friends, and guys aren’t interested in me, so I don’t really have anything to shift my focus onto. I want to meet other guys so bad. But either they don’t want me, or I don’t want them. It never works out for some reason. I’m honestly kind of scared I’m never going to meet anyone, and I’m going to be alone.
Yeah… pathetic, and dramatic I know. And I doubt any of you are really interested in my personal problems, but I needed to dump my soul out somewhere.